I’m yet to go pick up my cat just because my mum keeps threatening she’d kill it when I’m not at home.
To her, Cat = Witchcraft 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I digress. So, one evening I was coming from the atm with cool #500 naira notes sizzling in my purse when this woman stopped me. I knew she wanted to ask for money but I honestly wasn’t planning to part with 5H just like that. However, her request was what even further threw me off.
“Aunty please help me with #50 or #20”.
I will not even lie, if I had any of those denominations on me, there was no way in Jupiter I was going to part with it. Why? Cos a certain yoruba movie I had once seen flashed across my mind. Let me give you a quick run of the movie.
Guy A went to do money rituals (he had to put all the naira denominations in a calabash and drop in a forest). However, guy B who was just walking in the forest, saw the calabash and stole the money. Guy B ended up reaping the benefits of the ritual (a spirit will come deposit 20million naira to him every night and he must spend it finish that day or he will run mad). Guy A however was told by the herbalist that he had to go about begging for #20 every day and by the end of the day, he should melt all the money he’s gathered and drink it with pap. If he doesn’t do this, he will run mad. Or die. I don’t remember.
The moment I heard the #50 or #20, omo, I just told her I didn’t have and increased my footsteps. I met another person too another day who was begging for #20. In my mind I was like did your ritual go wrong too? 😂😂😂
It seems like the average Nigerian takes Nollywood as the alpha and omega of all matters. Not intentionally as it seems but the things we watch and hear have literally settled in our subconscious. And if you really think about it, they sometimes affect the way we see or react to things. Well, we can’t blame anyone sha. This is Nigeria.
My dad never let us have a doll as kids because of chucky (ok, not Nollywood but jooget?). I was once gifted a pair of slippers from the abroad. It was in the shape of a fish and my dad burnt them because…well it’s fish and fish equals marine things. But what is the correlation between fish and mammy water na?
My dad has refused to ever install a bath tub in his house because in a movie, someone slipped and died in it. Just imagine. 😭😭😭
Nollywood has served us some stereotypes it seems have come to stay.
●All light skinned ladies are from the marine kingdom. If she’s very fair, she’s omo omi confirm.
●Every family has at least one witch that will eventually confess and die…after using everybody’s destiny.
●Cats are witches. Full stop. With that their eyes that shine at night. Pffft.
●If a man dies prematurely, his wife killed him.
●Be nice to strangers. They could be a powerful herbalist or evil witch that could ruin your life for ruining sake.
I know I’ve missed out on a bunch of others. Please feel free to add yours to the list and we’d really like to hear how something you saw in a Nigerian movie affected your decision making.