My Soulmate Ghosted me. Twice.

In a bid to save me from being a single, old lady, sharing a house with 20 cats, a friend of mine – let’s call him D – decided to hook me up (it cringes me to use this phrase) with his friend. I really wasn’t interested in men or dating but then I felt it wouldn’t hurt to make a new friend.

So he – let’s call him Ray – reached out to me on WhatsApp and immediately I knew D had done his homework. Ray was a perfect fit to my puzzle. He was smart, witty, mysterious, had a head full of knowledge and functioned exactly at my frequency. He was like the ewa ganyin to my agege bread. In a few hours, we were already chatting like childhood friends. I liked him instantly. However, there was one problem.

He was the kind of crazy I was trying to leave behind.

I’m not going to try to explain that because you have to be me…or Ray to understand it. And you are not.

Anyways, some days later, Ray and I decided to meet up. I wanted it to be a sort of blind date but he wouldn’t stop asking for my picture. He probably wanted to be sure he wasn’t chatting with a one-eyed, limping dwarf. Can’t blame him. Maybe he’s been burnt one too many times.

I got dressed in a blue tee shirt, black jean and some kito-like sandals. Minimal makeup and off I went. I was deadly nervous cos, one I was waiting for him in a crowded space (I have serious case of social anxiety) and I’m usually nervous when I’m meeting people for the very first time (cos honestly I’m not so interesting in person and I fear they will be dissapointed).

So, here comes Ray.

Tall, slim, light skinned, average-ly fine dude with his cute nerd glasses. I was already angry that he kept me waiting but his somewhat sheepish smile made me autoforgive him. I was beginning to really like this guy but not for the reason you are thinking.

So Ray sort of reminded me of a character in a book; very innocent looking guy who turned out to be a serial killer. Ray gave off that creepy nerd guy/ serial-killer vibe and that was what I liked about him more. Please don’t question my taste in people. Call me crazy but yeah, I’m drawn to the abnormal.

We walked all around the mall aimlessly like we were scouting the place for a hit while he tried to get into my head. Lol. Baba was trying to figure me out with his “Einstein IQ”. Lmao. I was having fun watching him try. He did make me feel super awkward however when he looked into my eyes. I can almost swear he saw into my soul. Then we slid into the cinema hall, saw a movie and parted ways.

Last time we spoke, we were planning to go see his people. No, we weren’t planning on getting married or anything. I needed to take a break outside Lagos and he invited me to travel ‘home’ with him. My phone got spoilt the very day we were making the plans and that was the last I heard of him for months.

I knew I had been ghosted. But I wasn’t really bothered. Afterall, he wanted something more than friendship. I didn’t. Baba was looking for the Harlequin to his Joker. I just wanted to be croc man.

In a bid to be the bigger person, I reached out to him 6 months later. We talked over the phone for a bit and he gave me gazillion excuses as to why he disappeared (honestly, at that point I really didn’t care to know. I just had too much credit and was looking for who to call). Then he said we’d talk later as he had to do something.

It’s been two months and Ray is still busy doing the something.

Ray, I hope you get to finish whatever you’ve been doing someday. Not like you’ll see this message anyways cos I deleted your bloody number already.

“You are beautiful but you try so hard not to be.” – This is the one thing he said to me on our first date that will never leave the tablets of my mind though. That statement kinda unsettles and tortures me at the same time.

(Usually when people use the word “soulmate”, it’s almost in the context of love. But not this one. I wasn’t even attracted to Ray. But we connected on a much deeper, quantum level and he’s one of the tiny spec of people that I vibe(d) with in an almost telepathic way. That to me is worth more than a thousand butterflies in the tummy.)

I hope you enjoyed my lamentation. Would love to hear your “ghosted” story if you have any. I can’t be alone on this table. 😂😂😂

5 thoughts on “My Soulmate Ghosted me. Twice.

  1. Yewande says:

    It took me almost two years to know he is a Ray, tall, slim and light skin. I have known this guy for four year, never talked to him until it all started with his ‘HELLO’ .Ray’s can be annoying

  2. Olanrewaju says:

    I think I was Ray to a girl I once met while on a short break to Abuja. She was that last piece of a trophy puzzle stuck behind the cinema sit. You trying to pick it up but you have to bend uncomfortable in a room full of people. Well at the end of the trip we part, I ghosted her cus she’s was too toxic and she was very in love within that very short hour we met. She reached out some very short month. She must be a MOSSAD agent for getting my other contact and took me on a full paid date. She wanted to buy my love but my heart only bleed cus love leaves in my head where my calculator resides.
    I ghosted with the Ice-cream she bought.

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