Have I Been Dating Wrong?

I was riding with an older (non biological) sister one morning when she asked if I knew where we were. I looked around and answered in the negative. She went, “Ahn, ahn? Yemi! Didn’t you go to Unilag.” I laughed and told her I didn’t go out much when I was in school.

“So how many men have you dated?” She asked matter-of-factly.

You see, there are some kind of questions that will leave you confused not because you don’t have an answer but because you are not sure how the person would take the answer. So I sat there, staring at the infamous crickets as they hopped on her dash board, wiggling their ugly antennaes at me. “Your yansh will open today,” they seemed to mock.

She asked again, “Yemi, how many men have you actually dated?”

I chuckled because; a) When she said men, I immediately pictured tight faced, pot bellied, much older males and I’ve not dated anyone who fits into that category and b) I didn’t know how to start sifting through my boyfriend list, separating the boys from men. Don’t judge me. So I gave the most logical answer while chuckling in dear-ground-please-open-up-and-swallow-me-now. “I don’t know.” 

Thankfully she didn’t pursue it further because I would have died of undiluted embarrassment if she had asked me to give a figure. That would have been tough because then I’d need to figure out if the guy I dated for 3days was qualified to make the cut or if my over-the-phone relationship would make it too. I mean, we’ve dated some people for ridiculous reasons. You know now, stop forming.

I really hope the “I don’t know” didn’t even make it worse because then it would look like my list is longer than Nigeria’s budget. But I can’t seem to figure out why she asked me that though. Do you think my (none) knowledge of places in Lagos is stunted by my wrong relationship choices? Do I need to collect relationship refund from all my exes??

Me wondering if I should just find one Lastma official to date or something.

Oh, how’s the post-val mood going? I hope y’all are going to keep that same energy with your SO all through the year? Cos I’m watching you…closely.

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