5 Things I’d Love To Do But Probably Won’t

We won’t always get all we want in life. If not, we for don bring thick, dark, chaos into this world.

And that’s why I’m sharing with you guys 5 things I’d love to try my hands on if I ever could. All I ask is that you stay with me till the very end.

1. Get new piercings.

So, I’ve always wanted to pierce the upper part of my ears but then I realised that even the one set of piercings I have, it’s war for me to wear earring not to talk of wearing earrings in an extra pair of holes.

Why should I nao go through the pain cos apparently that side of the ear takes time to heal. Let me just respect myself and be admiring it on other people jeje.

2. Switch to contact lenses.

I’ve been saying I want to switch to medicated contact lenses since nineteen eighty gbogboro. But every time, I end up getting new glasses instead.


Simply because I’m a very forgetful person. One day I will just goan forget and sleep with it. By the time I wake up, maybe somebody would have goan blind or my eyes would have become oju okpolo. I don’t even joke with my eyes o cos to be very honest eyes no get replacement. Except they want to give somebody oju Malu. Olohun tie maje.

3. Have my face ‘beat’.

I always imagine what this would look like but I don’t think I’m ever gonna do this. I’m talking about the kind of face beat that will turn you from Baba Suwe to Beverly Nanya. You see all that contouring, the shine shine and what not…I still don’t get it. I know it looks pretty bomb but have you actually taken time to take a side view of people who do all that serenren? It always looks funny! No way I want to subject myself to such ridiculousness.

I’m not even good with makeup yet I feel the heaviness around my face when I do the small one I know. Not to talk of those MUA that will bathe you in layers and layers of products. I will not just be myself because something will be doing me to either smudge or wipe it.

Well, except someone wants to use me as face model sha. Ehn ehn. I fit endure the torture. Afterall, na snap and clean.

4. Get a tattoo.

For years now, I’ve had the perfect picture of what tattoo I wanted to get and where I’d like the tattoo to be. However, my initial fear was that if I get a tattoo, I would no longer be able to donate blood and guys, I LOVE blood drives. Then I realised if I do get a tattoo, I can actually donate blood after a certain period of time.

Then I started to worry that if I do, I won’t be able to stop at one tattoo and end up becoming Michael Scoffield. If you don’t know who that is, pele is your case.

This option is still open though. Who knows…maybe I’ll finally get it for my next birthday. But can you guess what it will be? If you get it, *touches ground with finger, touches tip of tongue and points to the sky* I will buy you kulikuli.

5. Eat strange animal protein.

I’ve heard people say they’ve eaten toad, snake, monkey, tortoise and even crocodiles. Ey…chai. I’m a very adventurous person and I like to do really strange and weird things for the experience but I’m not so sure my liver and kidney can carry this one o.

I remember the first day I had dog meat out of curiosity. I will not lie, it is way sweeter than cow meat. But that was the last time I ever touched it. I don’t know if it’s because of the way I saw them offload a truck of sickly looking dogs in calabar. 404 or so is what they call it there. Or somehow it just didn’t feel right that I’m eating dog when I asbofreakinglutely love them.

I don’t want to know how curious my curiosity gets. I cannot allow it coman kill my cat . I doubt I will try another animal protein apart from what I already know biko. Except I accidentally eat it maybe in a restaurant or something. But if you are my friend and you set me up ehn…

So, I hope you guys enjoyed this bit on getting to know me better. I would love to hear stuffs you’d love to do but probably won’t do and your reasons why.

Stay chilling and have a splufimagnificent weekend. #YOLO

8 thoughts on “5 Things I’d Love To Do But Probably Won’t

  1. Gere Ochuko says:

    These whole contact lenses are not because my eye is faulty o but the unique coloration of the eyes after wearing it is lit. Still, I haven’t gotten it. Like the tattoo, I have said I wanted since before Civil began to rule great Nigeria. Sighs. My Nigerian parents gan isn’t left out.

    • dwordchemist says:

      Ikr…if I ever get contacts, I’m going to get a color that will make people uncomfortable looking into my eyes. Lmao. Nigerian parents can like to kill shine. 🤭🤭🤭

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